


Tears in Heaven

by ginadzani



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Eric Clapton - Freeform, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Feels, I don't know why I wrote this, I'm Sorry, M/M, Short, Sickfic, Songfic, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 17:28:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4754912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginadzani/pseuds/ginadzani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean just can't thought about his life without Cas in it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears in Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Heard this song, and finally wanted to write something really short.
> 
> Tears in Heaven, by Eric Clapton. This song tears my heart.

Dean holds Cas’s hand tightly; he brings Cas’s hands closer to him and kisses his knuckles one by one. Dean closed his eyes for a second.

Cas’s eyes opened slowly, he found Dean sitting on his bedside and staring at him in his sleep. He gives a small weak smile to Dean.

“Hey there, what are you doing here in the middle of the day?”

“Looking after my dear husband. Got a problem?” Dean said softly. He feels so tired from the lack of sleeping these last few weeks.

“You didn’t have to go to the garage?”

“No, now I’ve got Wednesdays off too, beside my usual Saturday,”

“That was kind of Bobby. How is he? Haven’t seen him in a while,”

“Yeah, he said sorry he haven’t got the time to come here again. He will though, as soon as he could,”

Cas throws another weak smile and closing his eyes again. He felt tired easily lately.

***

“Dean, I feel like my time won’t be long anymore,”

“Ssssh Angel, don’t said something like that. You hurt me,”

Cas and Dean lying down side by side on their queen-size bed, late at night. Dean just seems like can’t get his eyes closed, and Cas was just awakened from his sleep.

“Dean, have you ever pray for me?”

Dean turns his head, looking at Cas with sad eyes.

“Baby, I may not religious even a speck, but I’m doing anything I could, even the one I’m not believing in, to get you better,”

Dean gives a small peck on Cas’s cheek.

***

_“Hi, I’m Dean. You new here?”_

_A pair of otherworldly bright blue eyes looking up from the ground, staring back at Dean’s greens one._

_“Um yes. My name is Castiel,”_

_“Cool name, never heard of it before. You wanna play?”_

_The seven years old got up from his position before and standing up next to Dean. They ran together to the park near their childhood home, and they still run together for the next years._

***

Dean opened his eyes.

That dream feels really close, and it certainly doesn’t feels like it happened almost 30 years ago.

He looks to his side, to the man he had known for the better part of his life, thinking of what the men they’ve become.

He just didn’t have the strength to give a thought about how his life would be without Cas by his side. He doesn’t even know anymore how to live without him.

Dean cursed his fate. The freakin cancer really has to come between them. And it will certainly take Cas away from him. They found out about it too late, and the doctors put their hands up on his case.

So they were just waiting. And spending as much time as they could together.

***

Dean is cooking breakfast and humming to whatever song is playing on the radio. Suddenly, a rather familiar song coming through the speakers.

_Would you know my name,_

_If I saw you in heaven?_

 

Suddenly Dean feels the urge to just see the face of the love of his life immediately. He runs to their bedroom, to find Cas staring to the ceiling.

“Cas?” Dean calls out with a little fear in his heart; fear that Cas won’t answer anymore.

Cas looks at Dean slowly. And again with that small weak smile of his. There’s no strength in him anymore.

“Come here, Dean,”

Dean walks slowly to their bed, and sits on the chair he put beside their bed. He used it a lot these days. Dean takes his hand again and hold it close.

“I love you,”

He said it while he put his lips on Cas’s hand. Tears rolling down slowly from his eyes.

“Why are you crying? You know I love you too,”

“I can’t love you enough,”

“You love more than enough. You’re anything I’ve dreamed off, and more,”

Dean stays silent, one more tears dropped.

“You’ve never cried like this before,”

“Yeah, I just heard a rather sentimental song,”

“What song? Sing to me, please,”

Dean, still with his eyes closed, singing softly.

 

_Would it be the same, if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I must be strong, and carry on_

_‘Cause I know, I don’t belong_

_Here in Heaven_

“It will always be the same anywhere, Dean. In any kind of universe, heaven and hell, you name it, we’ll still end up together,”

“You’re going to heaven, I’m not. I don’t even knows God,”

“There are no Heaven without you in it, Dean,”

“But…”

“Ssshh…. Be quiet. Believe me, my Heaven always have you in it. I’d rather go to hell and get you myself if I have to,”

Dean closed his eyes again, holds his hands tighter.

“I love you, Dean. I need you,”

Cas whispers slowly, his holds on Dean gets looser.

“Cas?’

There was no answer from him. There will be no more answer from those sweet lips of his.

And the song still plays on.

 

_Would you hold my hand_

_If I saw you in heaven?_

_Would you help me stand_

_If I saw you in heaven?_

_I'll find my way_

_Through night and day,_

_'Cause I know I just can't stay_

_Here in heaven._

 


End file.
